Devil Eye

Emily has really been hasseling me lately about my lack of blogging. I talk to these ladies so much that I would feel dumb re-telling my stories just for the blog. Sometimes I even catch myself "saving" stories for the blog - like keeping a funny antecdote about Mom a secret so I can reveal it to them on the blog, but then I never actually do it.
I stayed home from work today because I have what Emily and I refer to as "devil eye." I used to get it all the time and Emily always thought it was neat. Well it's not neat. I woke up with my eyes sealed shut with green crust. I made an appointment with my eye doctor except he wasn't there today, so it would have to be with a guy named Vespa. I was already judging him, just by hearing his name. Well, turns out I was right, he was a real jackass, he couldn't ask a question without prefacing it with "in your opinion..." I always thought that it was an unspoken understanding that most answers to questions are subjective. Sometimes he would change it up and say "now this is just your opinion but..." LIke he would say, "Now this is just your opinion, but are your eyes more red than usual?" Then he flipped my eyelids inside out to reveal the devil eye in the form of an allergy under my eyelids that makes little bumps and makes my eyes all red and gross. P.S., I have pink eye too. I was at a children's hospital yesterday so I'm sure that's what did it. Stoopid dah-mees!!
After he wrote me a perscription, James took me to the pharmacy at the store. We wandered around the store while we waited for Max to fill the perscription. Now Max is not the pharmacist's real name, it's just a name Emily and I made up for him eventhough his name is clearly displayed as Jerry Stein. We were perusing the Red Bull area and James started to recall a guy he knows that used to drink a similar energy drink but he couldn't remember what it was. He just knew it had the word "cock" in the title. He shuffled through a few possibilities in his mind: Full Cock, Red Cock. James, please stop saying cock. Wait, he's remembering now: Rooster Booster! So we had a good laugh about that. Then I came home and watched the second half of Dr. Zchivago and wiped green snot out of my eyes. It might rain tomorrow, it has been 135 days since it last rained here. This is all, goodbye.