Call me weak minded

Seriously, I know I'm a sucker for a TV personality and yes, I am the one who smiles through the tears at the end of a happy ending on Little House or even that JCPenney commercial last year where the parents showed up on the doorstep of their daughter who thought that all she was getting for Christmas was a package...hmm...gimme a minute. Anyway, my point today is this: QVC and HSN. I mean, come on! They really are good. I don't care how many Omega necklaces or synthetic cats eye rings or semi precious bracelets you have, if you watch these shows for any length of time, you will find yourself mesmerized at first by the images and then, stick around, because it will blow you away at how capable they at the stream of bullshit! And I mean that as an actual description and not a profanity! They are so excited and genuinely enthusiastic about what they are sharing with us. They can go on and on seamlessly. I mean, if I were doing that I think could hold my own for about 5 minutes, but then I think I would start to implode and crumble with futility of snowing people so effectively. THEN, when you think they're looking for a break--they take a call from a viewer! These viewers call these hosts by name, "Lisa, thank you so much for taking my call. You look so beautiful tonight, you always do. I just love you. I tell my daughter that she should do her hair like you. I watch you all the time. I bought the collar necklace because I'm always in a hurry and can't take the time to fasten a necklace all the time." And Lisa, she reciprocates with unbelievable genuine-ness and I actually find myself loving her too and wondering if I should do my eye make up like her sometime!

I'm telling you, I am not lonely and I'm not stupid, but I do have addictive tendencies and don't order the big cable package because I'm a recovering TVaholoic. I spent most of my formative years watching everything on TV (except Three's Company because it was forbidden.) I've been off the turkey for about 6 years and am able to indulge recreationally with heavy supervision, but these free channels (HSN, QVC the real estate channel) are triggers for me, I'll admit it. (Friends reruns and anything Owen Wilson tend to make me fall off the wagon, too.) Now, I have been able to partake in some controlled usage situations such as Oprah on Mondays while I fold the laundry, times of nursing my babies, I would watch in 30-45 minute blocks and I am able to fully function without repercussions while Clifford, Cailou, Dragon Tales or other PBS morning shows are on. But, I'm worried about these recent QVC experiences.

Have you ever seen them sell the Breezie bras and underwear or the Quacker Factory Clothing for "Women" (She's the 400 pound woman that always wears a coordinating sweatband style bandana). How much can you say about the construction and design behind a breast support system and the origin of the cotton that they're made of? You'd be amazed. Don't even get me started about the men hosts and what they have to say about the Roomba and other household helps. Or the lady who sells the fake ponytails and hair extensions in all shades of hair imaginable including African American hair. Fascinating.

Anyway, I just thought you should know that you don't need HBO or anything like that when you have emerging TV personalities like these. These people are changing the face of America.