Mom & Dad are my bi-otches

Seriously, it doesn't take much to get them to do a lot for you. Did I say you? I meant me. Afterall, I have always been the favorite because a) I live three minutes away from them, and b) i pretend to solicit and accept their opinions. Well tonight, I seemed to have been in a couple of tight spots and a few hints here and there and I had both of them knocking on my door, literally. I came home from a long day of Mr. Potato Head and the Clean - Up song only to be invaded by one of Arizona's most terrifying monsters: the scorpion... There was the small beast with crab claws and a curly, spikey tail mocking me from the wall. After it did not respond to by verbal requests to please leave and Frances has never been one to do what he's told, I called James. He gave me the ol' I'm - late - for - class - I - don't - have - time - to - come - home - and - get - it - why - don't - you - just - be - careful - and - kill - it routine which was just unacceptable. Thank you goodbye, I said.... How convenient! Mom is calling me now and suddenly I am hungry. (In the Psychology world, we call this a conditioned response). Now it has been two hours since I've been home and the scorpion in motionless, maybe sleeping? Well Mom, I don't think I'll come over for dinner. Bring dinner over? That sounds like a lot of work. Well I guess, only if it's convenient...... Oh Hi, Dad, are you on your way home from work? Oh Mom told you about it? Yeah, I'm home by myself. Ok, see you soon. So Dad came over and exterminated one of the manifestations of Original Sin. In true Dad fashion, he had to climb on a chair to get to it, I thought he was going to fall, then he dropped the scorpion, found it, flushed it. Five minutes later as I was on the phone chewing out the student loan whores, Mom arrived with a makeshift tray containing two plates of food and hot cookies. Suck on this, sisters.