Part 1: Nightmare Comes to Life or Who Do I Have to Sleep With to Not Have to See Mother

wednesday night, jessica and i were watching the american idol finale. i love bad television with my whole heart, so this was like my superbowl. i had been drinking a lot of beer. i love beer with my whole heart, so drinking a lot was like my superbowl. my nerves were calm. my fever had broken and my blood pressure had finally come down. i could no longer feel my heart beating in my brain. thank you, beer.

then, a bat flew through the living room. a bat. a low flying bat. we started screaming and crawling on the floor.

let's back up.

the previous saturday, i was at phil and marlene's singing karaoke. aroung 11pm, i got a text message. "urgent. call now." it was from hashifa. i called her. she said mom and dad were coming memorial day weekend to suprise me. i freaked out. i went home and called mom and dad and told them they couldn't come because i was going to the bay of fundy. this was a lie. nate told me to say that. why did i listen to nate? who knows.

monday, i called mom and told her that i wasn't going to the bay of fundy, but it was not a good weekend for them to come. i told her that if she ever wanted to come i would need at least a month's notice. i didn't tell her that i would use that month's notice to enter the wittness protection program.

i went to therapy on tuesday and told my therapist about my mom buying plane tickets to philly without asking me first. she said that she was proud that i stood up to mom and that i have come a long way. she said i should be proud. i was proud. i was in control.

wednesday, i got up to go to work. my side had been bothering me, but i had just chalked it up to a pulled muscle from too much dancing around. i dance around a good deal. as i was getting ready to leave for work, i bent over my purse to dig out a token for the trolley. i sneezed. i felt something tear.

i went to work anyway. i was in a lot of pain. at 11am , i decided that i needed to leave and go to the doctor. i couldn't do anything. everything i did at work hurt. i thought i might throw up from the pain. i had some time to kill before my appointment, so i called nate, who works nearby, and we ate chinese food. after lunch, i checked my voice mail. connie, my co-worker had called. her message said, "oh god emily, your parents are in the market. they wanted to suprise you. i didn't know what to do".

then, i started crying and saying, "no" very loud. people stared at me. i called jenny. by then she had found out that mom and dad were here. i called jessica. jessica was kind enough to remind me how to breathe. i had forgotten.

i went to the market and found mom and dad. i said to them, "what the fuck are you doing here?" they said, "excuse me?" i said, "you heard me. i asked you what the fuck are you doing here. i told you not to come."

then i left because i had to go to doctor to find out why my rib hurt so bad.

to be continued...