Part 3: I Bet You Thought There Wasn't Going to Be a Part 3 or I Absolutely Do Not Have a Farting Disease

this has been a good year. i've felt really happy. things have been good. i like micah a good deal, i like my job, phladelphia rules, i have great friends and i get to be creative and funny with a group of geniuses. i have several reasons to get up in the morning and take a shower.

remember when gloria estefan broke her back in a horrific tour bus crash and the wrote the song "coming out of the dark" and then performed it with a choir at the grammys? that's exactly how i've felt. like i'm a bad singer with an unfortunate face who is overcoming adversity. soy feliz.

thursday, the day after my terrible surprise, i stayed home and didn't move. the doctor told me to lay low for bit. mom and dad called to invite me to spend the day with them. turns out, our parents love tour busses and planned to spend the day on one. i declined. i spent the day on the couch watching the trinity broadcasting network and trying to figure out who is more evil, pat robertson or joel osteen. i still can't decide. i didn't feel very bad about blowing off mom and dad. i was pretty angry that they showed up in the first place. i tried really hard not to think about it too much. i was trying really hard not to go bat shit crazy.

that evening nate, jessica, micah and i were in the backyard firing up the grill. i'd had a beer and a half. i went upstairs to get some lettuce. i had missed a call from jenny, so i called her back. as i was checking the lettuce and talking to jenny, i felt a horrble pain in my stomach. the pain got worse and worse every second. i abruptly ended my call with jenny so that i could lay on the couch to sweat and writhe in extreme pain. micah called my doctor. the doctor said to go to the emergency room. as leaving the house required moving, i decided to tough it out. i fell asleep.

the next morning the doctor called and told me to go to the hospital to have a cat scan. seems there was some stuff in my blood that suggested there could be an issue with my pancreas. i went to the hospital and they injected me with dye. the nurse said the dye may feel like i was peeing my pants. boy howdy! i was sure i was peeing my pants. what a nice surprise to find that i was dry as a bone.

i waited for results in the waiting room. a doctor called me in. he told me that i should have a nice weekend and i wasn't going to die. he said that i had gastritis. "great", i thought i have a farting disease. i had a cat scan so a doctor could tell me i have gas. i left the hospital and called jenny. she google gastritis and read what it was. it is NOT a farting disease.

mom and dad went to washington d.c. over the weekend (which they continuesly pronounced as "wershington d.c.") and i went about my business. i invited them over for a bbq at our home, monday.

monday morning, memorial day, i was cleaning my house and thinking about the past week. i hadn't gone bat shit crazy. there was a time not long ago when i would've lost my shit, but this time i didn't. then i considered how angry i was. then i fixated on how angry i was. then i felt like i was getting depressed. then i started going bat shit crazy. my rib hurt, my stomach was sore, my parents showed up unannounced. mom does whatever she wants. mom thinks she can control me. dad let's her get away with it. i am angry.

i called mom. she was looking at the liberty bell. i told her that she couldn't come over. i told her that she makes my life harder. i cried, screamed and yelled.

she laughed. she told me that she was an adult and she could go on vacation where ever she wanted.

then i couldn't breathe for a long time.

after an hour or so, i joined evryone downstairs. since mom and dad weren't coming over, we invited friends. the day turned out really awesome. we ate great food, played football in the street and watch the cat go crazy on cat nip.

i went to the doctor on tuesday and he explained to me gastritis. the cat scan showed that my stomach is infected from an over production of acid and the lining is inflamed and thickening. he gave me medicine. he confrmed what i had learned on the internet; that gastritis can be brought on with a stressful event. i have to take acid blockers now because i saw mom.

double l and dad stayed until wednesday. i did not see or hear from them. i still haven't.

it is sunday now and i feel good. my side feels a lot better and my stomach only hurts when i eat potato salad. life is back to normal and i must say, i am enjoying my normal life even more than before mom showed up. i have things to look forward to and lots to do. the ryhthm has totally got me.