my interview

today was my big interview for the tour guide position. it went well. i nailed it. i don't usually nail interviews. i usually do "just okay". i usually end up saying at least one thing i wished i hadn't. i usually walk away hating myself. today was different.

i woke up this morning ready to kick some ass. i made faces in the mirror whilst i applied my make-up;scary faces accompanied by growling noises. i was ready. i walked to the trolley stop with a spring in my step and a song in my heart. once on the trolley i had to stand, which is often times a little frightning as i am a small adult and tend to get knocked around. but today, i planted my feet firmly, held on to the nearest pole and yelled to the driver, "to my interview, sir!". nothing could get me down. i was prepared. i got off the trolley at 30th to make my train transfer. i sat down on the train next to a gentleman mumbling something about women's breast and "hitting that shit". then, he started mumbling in the general direction of a young lady seated across from me. i glanced over at her once without thinking. i glanced over her way again to catch my reflection and check my hair. the young lady then began to mumble something. i silently prayed that she wasn't mumbling about me. i stood to exit the train at my stop. the young lady began to mumble louder to make certain that i knew she was mumbling about me.

TO BE READ IN YOUR BEST GHETTO FABULOUS VOICE:

oh no! uh uh! shit. red skirt, big ass coat. oh no! uh, uh. shit.

quietly humming a sacred hymn, i quicky walked-ran out of the terminal and on to the street. i was not about to let a bully get me down.

once on the street, i walked down in numbers, past the liberty bell, constitution hall and onto to the coffee shop where my i was to interview. i was thirty minutes early. i talked on the phone, i drank coffee. it was time to kick some ass.

there it was, the segway human transporter. sitting next to it was the man who could give me the job that would afford me pretty new shoes, a much needed hair cut, and paid bills. he asked questions, i answered them. he said my resume was impressive. i said only normal and appropriate things. nothing about spy microphone or my obsession with the tony danza show. normal, normal, normal. he said he would call me for a second interview. i shook his hand firmly and left.

do i have the job? who can tell? i secretly think i do. we'll see.