That's all you've got?

Really?

I am not ashamed. I can defend myself. Puff sleeves and princess dresses were very IN in 1993! Now, I am sorry about my weenie roll bangs. For that I have no excuse. The teel, two piece, tee length dresses I made you wear as my bridesmaid was unfortunate, too. You pretty much vindicated yourself when you made me wear a pepto bismal pink number at your wedding. Remember that blemish/goiter/carbuncle on my neck that I tried to cover up with a choker necklace that only made me look like a tranny in a hot-pink prom dress. But as I recall, you had a Dorthy Hamel cut and some hussy-red lips that beg some explanation. Hashifa is still bitter about the white Naturlizer pumps I made her wear as well as the terrible floral dress in "bright pastels" as one of my candle lighters.

Ah, it was a time long ago. In fact, it's funny you should post this now because it's our 15th anniversary on the 21st.

So, thank you Emily. How special of you to think of me at the infectious height of your menagerie of unspeakable diseases. Use your position as a platform to advocate for safer sex and healthy lifestyles. You'll go far. If you survive the syphilis.