I could do better, but...

Oooo! Ooooo! I thought of something that is:
a) not about my kids
b) not about my mom
c) (you should really have 3 items in a list, but I can't think of (c).)

So, I am part of this group at church where people are invited to go through @ndy St@nley's St@rting Point series for the next ten weeks. It's really great material (in my opinion) and something that I'm really excited to be a part of. And scared.

So, on the first day, we're introducing each other and going around the room and people are supposed to offer some general info about themselves and then answer the question in the book about whether you're at a starting point, a turning point or a returning point. Of course, it is implied that this question relates to your spiritual disposition. There are about seven people in the room and we start around the room and get to Kim.

Now, flashback ten minutes and see me trying to be friendly and welcoming. Casually working the room, if you will. There's a general milling about happening as people come in and write their name on an overly-sticky name tag that sticks to everything but their shirt and is hardly legible anyway. Kim immediately b-lines for a chair and plops down and sets her bag on her lap. She's about 50 years old. She breathes loudly. She fidgets a lot. Five minutes into the session, as I try oh-so-hard to give my undivided attention to the person currently giving their introductory remarks, I've had it with Kim. She is freaking red-flagged in my book.

Now, it's Kim's turn. She shares how she's always been a Christian, in fact, she is more than just a Christian (???). She says she only listens to praise and worship music. It's her favorite thing to do. She also only watch Joel Olsteen. She said she likes to watch the same one over and over because he's just that good. She also likened herself, nay, claimed to actually channel if not be Monica from Touched by an Angel. Furthermore, when people come to her with their problems, she asks herself, "What would Monica say?" And then she tells them. She says she's very gifted that way. When answering the question about where she considers herself on the Starting Point spectrum, she said that she's definitely at a returning point--because she just moved here from Florida. When answering the question about one question you would ask God, she says that she only listens to praise and worship music (???).

Hells bells! I am sitting here this whole time thinking, "This is not happening. This is so not happening." What's not happening, Jenny? "This is so not happening that I don't have some sort of recording device to capture this moment!"

During the rest of our one hour together, Kim got up abruptly and left the room no less than THREE times to use the bathroom! Each time it was very chaotic. She also started packing up her stuff near, though not at the end, while someone else was spilling their guts.

So, call me mean. Call me judgmental. Call me ugly. But, bitch, please! It was a crazy day!

This concludes attempt #2 to contribute to this blog.

Amen.