Have you seen my sanity?

So let me pick up from where I left off the other day, just to give you the full, panoramic picture of my mad, mad world.

By the end of the day, I was ready to tuck the little angels in for the night. Nick had mercifully lived through another day. I had decided to run away for a few hours. Scott was finishing up piano lessons for the night and would put Natalie down, so I put on some pants and some lip gloss and roared away in my hot

black mini-van.

I was gettin' outta here! Somewhere into the world out there where I could rediscover myself and remember who I am underneath all of these homemaking skills. I did what any out-of-her-mind woman of my kind would do:

I grabbed a couple of things I'd been meaning to exchange and headed for Younkers in mall in Muskegon! If that sounds pathetic and practical, I can only say that my imagination is slightly stagnant in this stage of my life. (As a side note, the other night Scott and I ran out to visit Kelli Gulker in Holland who had her baby GIRL and we stopped at JP's Coffee for a coffee drink and well...I thought those new lids they have with the little piece that flips back so you could drink out of the lid, were just about the neatest things ever. Scott said I really needed to get out more.)

Now, please realize the pissed off state of mind that I was in and extend to me a little latitude as I explain the following encounter. I parked right up front (because nobody goes to the mall on a Monday evening in Muskegon, I guess) and walked in with my folded pair of pants with the tags in the pocket. I walked up to the first counter and explained to a woman, in her late 40s, how I'd like to exchange the pants but didn't have the receipt. The woman looked at my unsheathed pants, slightly appalled, and said, "Ummm...is this how you brought them in? No bag? Or anything?"

Wrong way to start with me.

"Nope," I say. "That's it, is there something wrong?" The lady behind her says,
"No, that's fine, she doesn't need a bag, it's fine."
My lady clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes and decides to find it in her to help a poor schmuck like me without a bag. We haggle shortly about how much they're worth since I don't have my receipt and then, as I'm about to go and look for my exchange item she says, endearingly,
"Would you like a bag for those? Are you just going to carry them around like that?"
Unfortunately I had an answer for her: "Look. It really seems to bother you about the bag thing. She told you it's fine, you still have a problem with it. How about, I'll just leave the pants here on the counter. Would that make you feel better?!?" She pushed them away from her and replied in a slightly valley girl tone, "Do what ever you want."

I thanked her and walked away. I know you're dying, Emily. It's true, I really was that rude. But, for better of for worse, I ended up apologizing to her: "Ya know, I need to ask you to forgive me. I was very rude and impatient and I'm sorry." She said,
"Well thank you, I accept, because I just got my butt chewed for that. I mean...I just thought if I were your mom or something, I'd say, get a bag. I just thought you should have brought it in a bag."

Can you even believe that? Whatever!

I bought a wild, orange shirt and then went to Meijer and bought some groceries. Very therapeutic.