I'm the new Crazy

I'm "that lady" in the grocery store that talks to herself without embarassment and is quick to talk to a stranger about some delightful grocery store discovery.

Scott's out of town and so I had a babysitter over to watch the kids while I ran to my hair appointment in Zeeland and then tagged on a wild and exciting trip to the new Meijer in Holland. I was shamelessly giddy about a trip to the store without kids. And this new Meijer is so beautiful. It even has new grocery carts that are blue and not metal. And they also have those cute, little short carts if you are just picking up a few things, but I was doing some serious shopping, so I grabbed the big cart.

Anyway, I always start in the back of the store and work my way forward, but I could not get past the dairy section. You, who live in the land of milk and honey, where everything that you need to be healthy and happy is available, do not understand what a tearful encounter it was for me to gaze upon the entire line of Stonyfield yogurt products and the entire line of Horizon dairy products inlcluding Horizon cheese. I literally said outloud, "Oh, my gosh, they have all my yogurt!" In the store, sisters, I said this. It didn't stop there.

Then, I moved into the paper goods aisle and wondered aloud (I think I even exclaimed with the word dang)why it always had to be so difficult to find Bounty Select-a-size in plain white or their new brownish/greenish grape vine design. But, ohhhhhh no! I have to buy the two-pack that contains one plain white roll and one stupid blue or rose design. It's so demeaning! It's like Bounty Corporate is saying, "Listen lady, no one likes the blue and rose colors, but we need to unload them so it is not an option for you to decide what is best and therfore we choose for you."

You'd think I'd tone it down and get down to shopping without commentary, but when I got to the cereal aisle, which also contains the cookies (which I don't buy because they all have partially hydrogenated oils in them, and because I'm fasting sweets for a few weeks, and because I hadn't had any dinner yet and I wasn't going to even think about buying cookies because I knew I'd just pound a half dozen in the van before I even made it home before I had a chance to steam my entire bag of brussel sprouts for my dinner because I love them and Scott hates them and even the smell of them. Sorry, back to my story) I was completely caught off gaurd and actually saidn outloud, "Damn Pepperidge Farm! Milano Mints sugar free?! As if the sugar content helped me to reign in my complete annialation of a tiny bag of Milano's in a few nights. Now, with no sugar, I might seriously eat them all in one sitting. Although, now that I say that, I think that that sugar alchol they use to sweeten them would give me the hot snakes if I ate them all and that thought might help my self control.

So, I'm thinking, "Geesh, you are losin' it, my friend." But then, some joker walked past me next to the cheese frig and said, "Don't stare too hard or it'll move!" What? Who would say that? He's crazy, I'm still okay.

I rounded the bases in produce and jumped into line at the checkout. I think I told the checkout lady some obscure, personal information, but by then I was just trying to get out of there so I could talk to myself in the van about how I needed to freshen up the social calendar in my life and re-engage in conversations with others in order to wean myself from myself.