Parental Invasion: High and Lowlights

so, here i sit. mom and dad have left from their visit. here's what went down...

the arrival:
highlight
mom and dad ate the breakfast i had "prepared" (yogurt, granola, fake sausage) and even said it tasted good.

lowlight
the conversation kind of lagged and i blabbed way too much about the array of medications i'm on.

the first outing:
highlight
mom and dad bought me lots of lovely plants from a kick-ass local nursery.

lowlight
picture it: dad makes a very illegal u-turn on sunset, and while trying to get out of the inevitable sticky consequence of his action, receives an "important" cell phone call from the man who is building some sort of entertainment center for their home. dad is trying to avoid being clobbered by oncoming traffic while franticly asking "damon" what the measurements for the "t.v. hole" are (seems that the t.v. he originally pined for has been discontinued and he needs to find an alternative, and thus needs to know what size the "hole" is for said alternative.). the important call continues as dad tries to parallel park on santa monica blvd-with one hand. so dad is parking with one hand (poorly) and talking about t.v. holes; mom keeps poking him asking, "do i get doors? do i get doors?" (i'm assuming on the entertainment center); and i am in the back seat with both hands over my face.

the following outings:
highlight
wow! apparently, mom and dad wipe their ass with cash! the spending was glorious! it was frivolous! it was completely ridiculous and i loved it! seriously, when the cash runs out, they are not, i repeat not, living with the lamigraws.

lowlight
the rented mini-van they drove had a completely inane feature that does not allow the person in the back seat to open the damn door when they want to get the hell out. whoever holds the car keys must "double click", which then allows the back seat passenger (me) watch the slider door open very, very,very slowly. this inane feature was responsible for my one and (proudly) only unreasonable outburst of the weekend: when while the door was slowly opening i yelled (kind of out no where) "this is bullshit!". come on though! don't you think that's complete bull shit?

church:
highlight
we were on time.

lowlight
ok, listen: i'm going to level with you. i'm tired and want to go to bed. there's just too many lowlights. these are but a few: church was a nightmare. mom was this close to raising her hand during prayer requests to ask if we could sing, "blessed redeemer", as she was not familiar with the already sung hymns. she yawned. she yawned and could not sit still through the entire service. she talked during the portion of the service reserved for meditation. when the offering basket was passed and micah and i had nothing to contribute this week, she wiggled it in front of me. it was very embarrassing.

the departure:
highlight
it was a nice visit and i was ready for it to end.

lowlight
i gave mom a polite card, thanking her and dad for visiting and buying us food and shit. mom seemed to want to read it aloud in front of me. no one wants to hear their own words in a polite card to their mother and father read back to them.
.......................................................................................................................................................................

so, that was that-sort of. i know that am very lucky to have parents that come to visit. i know i am lucky to have parents at all. but dammit!

mom and i did have a nice moment on the roof, gardening; and dad and i had some lively arguments about ordinary citizens who are taking the law into their own hands to see to it that people will not be able to come cross the border into our country from mexico to "steal" jobs away from "us". evidently, cleaning up vomit in hotel rooms and working at car washes are coveted careers by "us".

i'm going to bed now. tomorrow, i will reconvene "job quest 2005", and try to get the knots out of my muscles from tensing those muscles all weekend.